Ugly Thursday.

Another day without having any energy for life. I know i should look at all the blessings i have but i just don't feel it today. I'm tired....

I wake up, i drive to work, i do reports, payments, audits, then drive home, cook dinner, take a shower and go to bed. The next day i do the same, then the day after that, and the day after that..... and it never ends.

Saturday i wake up, go to church, come home at 2, then go back to church at 6, then go home and go to sleep... Sunday i clean the house, do laundry (for like 500 people - or so it feels like), then go to bible study, then go to sleep.......

Every week the same, over and over and over and over....

Wow now that i actually wrote it down i feel worse than before. This is our life.

God Does Not Believe In Atheists!!!

This morning I read this cool article and wanted to share it with you. Judge for yourself:

Does evolution have direct answers to the following elementary questions: How does a big bang explain the innumerable amount of species of living things? Why is there sound and taste? And how did they evolve? Why do some creatures fly, while others swim, and some slither? Why do some creatures have two legs, while others have four and some eight? Why are some species predators while others are prey? Why do some creatures hibernate year after year while others must continue in motion to survive?

Why do birds build nests, beavers construct dams, and spiders spin webs? Why are there millions of galaxies and trillions of stars? Why are there springs, rivers, and oceans? Why are there four seasons? Why does sand gather along the coastal shores and in the midst of deserts? Why do birds sing, wolves howl, and cats meow? Why is the world so colorful? Why are there a multitude of foreign languages? Why is the human brain more complex than the most powerful computer? Why do Humans have a conscience while animals have basic instincts? Why does nature possess certain natural laws while humans form laws to govern society? How did all these things come to be and why?

Can evolution adequately explain how colors evolved? How does evolution justify which birds fly, which swim, and which migrate? How does evolution account for so many species of sharks? Why could they not all be great whites? Why are there so many different shapes, sizes, and colors of flowers? Why not all evolve into red roses? Why is there big, small, short, and tall? How does evolution address the complex issue of DNA? How does the theory explain why there are no two fingerprints alike or two snowflakes that are identical?

If evolution is scientific, why does the theory suffer constant inconsistency and contradiction within evolutionary circles? And why do we teach a theory as if it is indeed a fact? Speculation, not science, is at the root of evolution. For science to be science it must be repeatable and observable. And since NO ONE has EVER observed a whale evolve into a cow, a cat into a dog, or a monkey into a man, we have nothing? The evolutionary process we long to embrace, by the very definition of science, is not scientific at all.

So why do the masses believe in and propagate an insane idea called evolution? Is it because you refuse to believe in the obvious alternative, a Creator? And not just any Creator, but a holy One, of which we are all accountable to and will someday face.

What is the one thing that God and mankind have in common? Sin, of course. God hates sin and we love it. God gave laws forbidding it and man boasts that laws are meant to be broken. We refuse to be accountable to this God for our transgressions against Him. So what did we do? We exchanged the truth of God for the lie of evolution. Now we can have our cake and eat it too. No longer shall we give an account to the God of the Bible...so it seems. But are you willing to stake your soul on that? The Bible says, "It is appointed for man to die once, and then the judgment" (Hebrews 9:27).

Indeed, Charles Darwin and Carl Sagan now know there is a God! And like them, you too will stand before your Creator to give an account for your offenses against Him. There is, however, a wise alternative. The very God that spoke the universe into existence became a man, was crucified, and raised from the dead. He bids you to come. Will you not do the obvious and turn from your sin and follow the Lord Jesus Christ while you have life? Your faith in an evolutionary theory that allows your sin will bring you right to the throne of God one day. He, Jesus, will either be your Savior, or your Judge.

God does not believe in atheists!

Frustrated

Just got home from dinner and movie with my best friend. We enjoyed a bowl of pasta, a frozen margarita, and wonderful conversation about life. We decided to watch Just Wright and it was just that: Right. We had so much as we always do. For just a little while we get to forget about husbands and kids and work and life.

As I'm driving home and listening to my christian music, i feel the urge to change the CD and listen to something else. So here I am, at 9:30 pm listening and singing "Nothin on you" by BoB - i love that song.

Then all of the sudden I start to feel guilty; i turn off the CD and just sit there in the quiet and feel guilty. Why do i feel guilty? I didn't break any of the commandments, a little voice in my head says. Or did I?

I am so confused and frustrated.

I hear stories from people saying how they used to do this and that, drugs and jail, and the list goes on and on and on. And then they talk about how they got saved by Gog and how they love their new life.

Well i never did any of that. Never took drugs, never drank, never did anything really. Growing up I always had to do things that were "lady-like" as my mom would say: ladies don't chew gum, ladies don't like sports, ladies don't ride bikes...
I'm far from being a kid now but sometimes i wish i could do something rebellious like color my hair weird colors and wear funky clothes. Not that i would do that... but it would be nice to know that i could if i wanted to.....

Is it really bad watching movies? Or listening to music other than christian music? So many questions and i always get the same answer: Whatever you do is between you and God.

If it's bad why doesn't it feel bad? Why did it feel right wearing my wedding ring when the bible says we should not wear jewelry? Not wearing it feels bad.

Arrrrhhhhhhh frustration.... My head is exploding.....

Blahhhh

This week's been just ... blahhhh.... I can't concentrate on anything.... I feel like my body is here but my spirit has gone on vacation somewhere.

Lord give me strength to accept anything that comes my way.

Maybe I'll feel better later on. I have to feel better - tonight is dinner with Normi and maybe a movie.

I wish....

"Keep on wishing" - my husband's comment....

Just a blahhh day.

A Creed For Those Who Have Suffered

A Creed For Those Who Have Suffered

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve.
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey...
I asked for health, that I might do great things.
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things...
I asked for riches, that I might be happy.
I was given poverty, that I might be wise...
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God...
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things...
I got nothing I asked for - but everything I had hoped for;
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am, among men, most richly blessed!

The Potter's Wheel

The Potter's Wheel

When you're troubled and discouraged
In the darkness of the night
When obstruction clouds your vision
And you just can't see the light.

When life's trials overcome you
And you have nowhere to turn
When you've reached the very bottom
There are lessons you must learn.

For the clay is being molded
It's been twisted, pulled and tossed
It's been rolled and it's been pounded
Till the ego has been lost.

He will put you through the furnace
You'll be tested to the brim
Your life will be in pieces
Till you give your soul to Him.

From blemish to perfection
His hands will form the clay
This human piece of rubble
Must let God have His way.

When you come to Him all battered
In the form of mortal man
When you cry to Him in mercy
You will find the Potter's hand.

He will grind you, mold and chisel
The friction you will feel
Till He gently carves and shapes you
Upon the Potter's wheel.

Friday night

I wrote these notes at night after my group meeting. I got home and once again I had to figure out dinner for the kids. Bad planning one may say. I knew i had group after work so i should have prepared something on Thursday right? Well I'll do better next time.

This week has been really hard. Work was stressful (more than the norm), traffic was terrible, cooking every night, trying to keep peace around me.... I think I'm tired... no, i know I'm tired.

I was reading the bible a few minutes ago and found myself choked up with emotions. Did it ever happen to you? Listen to this:

"And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord."

How powerful words can be?!

I have to remember to tell you my story one day - how i got to be happy and sing the praises unto the Lord.

Until then, may the Lord bless you always.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

Why is it that no matter what we do, we feel the need to keep a diary, or blog, or whatever you want to call it? Could it be that maybe we find it easier to write down our emotions then verbalizing them?

I was looking at my friend's page (don't you just love how you can find any old friend on Facebook) and decided to read one of her blogs (again). She lost her husband 4 years ago - she kept a journal of his illness discovery to the day the Lord took him. Now I’m no writer.. My friend is. You could feel the pain, the laughter, the sorrow, every single emotion just by reading her journal. I had the honor of meeting them both and it was so clear to see how much they loved each other. They were the kind of couple you only see in movies. They did everything together. And when i found out that he passed away i cried for days because i knew the pain she felt.

Now you may wonder why I would want to read something so “sad” again and again.... well I don't really have the answer for that. I just know that this morning i felt the need to read some of the posts. Maybe God is trying to tell me something. I've learned for the past few months that God "talks' to us all the time. We just refuse to listen to Him.

We only listen when something bad happens. That's when we try to contact Him and ask for help. But the minute we are in a better place, we get back to ignoring the voice.

For many years I thought i was a good Christian. I treated everyone the way i wanted to be treated but do you think that's enough? If that was the case maybe the Bible would consist of just one page... one page with one simple line that would tell us all "BE A GOOD PERSON AND YOU'LL GO TO HEAVEN".....

That's so far from the truth. The Bible is a guide for all of us. Think of it this way... in order to get your drivers license you need to study a "guide" right? If you study and learn everything in that guide you know you'll pass the test. Or for example when you go to school... in order to pass your grades you need to study all the "guides".

Same goes with the Bible. This is the one "guide" you should study the most because it will make you a better person. You'll be happier, and it will open your eyes. You don't see clear unless you let God in your life to light up your way.

I was reading an article the other day and this guy was asking: "How do you know if you're a good Christian? What is it ok to watch on TV for example"... The answer was so simple....Would you do this or that if God was sitting next to you? Would you be ashamed to do it? Well guess what: He is sitting next to you at all times.

So my friend, remember this. God is your friend, not your enemy. He loves you like no one ever will.

May the Lord bless you and yours....

Happy Tuesday?

Are you a morning person? Not me. I could stay up all night reading or talking to my kids but when morning comes ... don't bother me. So the alarm goes off at 6:00 am and my first thought is to call in sick. That would be a bad idea considering the amount of work waiting for me.

Yesterday i lost it at work. For the first time (well maybe not the first but you know what i mean) i just could not handle it anymore. But that was yesterday. Last night when i got home, my husband was already making dinner, my little one was ready to give me the biggest hug in the world, and before i knew it, i was feeling great. I was feeling blessed, and loved, and ... HAPPY.

So maybe the Lord was trying to tell me something yesterday. He was trying to remind me of what's important in life. That no matter how bad i think the day is, there's something wonderful waiting for me at home. Always....

So today as i was walking in to work (30 minutes late) with my mocha in hand I thanked the Lord for everything. For my friends (old and new) and for my family.

And once again I felt... HAPPY....

ARHHHHHH

I think just by the title of this post you can tell how i feel right now. I had to actually open the bible and start reading in order to calm myself down. I wanted to walk out. It would've been so easy to just pick up my purse and my plant and walk out.

How i wish we could all be farmers and live the simple life. The husbands take care of the land while the wives take care of the house and the kids. Yeap... that would be the ideal life. Stop dreaming and smell the coffee, right? I have to remember why i need my job.

Lord give me the strength and patience to stay focused on what's important. I give my life to you and accept anything you'll throw my way.

I need to look at what i have not at what i don't ... if i can remember that, I'll be just fine. At least I'll be going home soon.

New Beginning....

"The things which are impossible with men are possible with God." -- Luke 18:27

Isn't that the truth? My friend Karen and I talk about the bible a lot... I mean a lot. She is the one that started blogging about it and suggested I did the same. So here i am. I thought it would be a piece of cake but now that I'm looking at the screen i don't really know where to start.

On my way to work today i was listening to my favorite radio station (KWVE 107.9 FM) and the pastor was talking about the Book of John. The Arrest of Christ to be more exact. So I'm driving on the 5 Frwy at 7 am and I'm visualizing what Christ has gone through for us. All you have to do is read John 18 and 19, if nothing else and if that doesn't move you then you're not alive. Did he really need to die for us? Are we worth it?

I've always considered myself a Christian but only this year did I find the true meaning of Christianity. And so my journey has began.

Have you ever asked yourself why we're so stressed all the time? Why are we so consumed with work? If you look at your life you'll realize that it's nothing but a competition. Let's see who finishes first, who's got the bigger and better "everything".

Last year my oldest son joined his friend to Bible studies. Every Sunday night he would come home and try to tell me what he learned that day. And I wish I could say that i was happy for him but that would be a lie. I was concerned for his safety. I know it sounds so crazy ... after all he was just going to bible study right? As adults we don't like change. And based on what he was learning, I was supposed to make some big changes in my life.

My next post will tell you what those changes were... stay tuned...